Giving Thanks

Thanksgiving is my favourite holiday. It doesn't have the hoopla and anticipation that Christmas does. Instead, it quietly focuses on my two favourite things: family and food. Major life events have also happened to me on Thanksgiving - in 2007, Jay proposed to me (spoiler alert: I said "yes", haha) and in 2011, we found out I was pregnant.

A whole year has gone by since that Thanksgiving and I still remember the shock and joy I felt. Jay, on the other hand, was cautious and unconvinced that the very faint line on the home pregnancy test really meant we were having a baby. He made me re-test the next morning before he was properly overjoyed.

The first pregnancy test: when *I* knew I was pregnant

The second pregnancy test: when Jay became convinced

Those early days of pregnancy felt so surreal - I had this lovely secret deep in my belly. I wanted to shout it out and tell everyone, but at the same time it felt so fragile that I wanted to wait until it felt "safe" to do so. I remember already having hopes and dreams for this tiny seed of a baby, and I walked around in a bit of a daze. Then, something scary happened. A few weeks after Thanksgiving, I had some spotting for about a week. The Internet gave scary statistics about early bleeding and the risk of miscarriage, and I remember sobbing over what I thought was imminent heartbreak. We went to the hospital emergency room, and I had an ultrasound done. They wouldn't allow Jay in the room, so it was just me and the ultrasound technician. I didn't think I could handle getting bad news without Jay in the room, or worse: have to tell him the bad news myself. The technician was stone-faced during the procedure - she had likely done many early ultrasounds before, and knew that there wasn't always good news. The procedure felt like it was taking forever, but probably lasted ten minutes. She was so quiet. Finally, she said "Well, I'll have to confirm it with the doctor, but there's a good strong heartbeat. Would you like to hear it?" She turned on the sound and I could hear the rapid lub-dub and see the flickering heartbeat on the screen. I released the breath I didn't know I had been holding in, and cried. A year later, we have our healthy beautiful baby boy.

This year, I have so much to be thankful for. Obviously, Nathan is at the top of that list but his arrival has really made me appreciate everyone else in my life. Our friends and family rallied around us when Nathan was born and have given us so much help and support. In no particular order, here are some people I'm truly thankful for this year:

• My parents. It's such a cliche, but so true that you  don't fully appreciate everything your parents have done for you until you become a parent yourself. I can't count the number of times they have come through for me, and all the small and large acts of kindness they've bestowed on us this year. During the first two months after Nathan's birth, I was a mess. My mom cooked, cleaned, did laundry, held the baby, kept reminding me to take naps and was just generally the most awesome mom ever. Later, she packed most of our condo before our move. Truly, I'm so thankful for my mom and dad.
• My sister, Kelly. With zero past experience with babies under her belt, she has become such a fun and loving auntie to Nathan. My heart warms when I see them together.
• My Aunt Elaine. We moved into a house that's just a few doors down from hers, and we've already benefitted greatly. She invites us over for meals, brings over homemade soup, provides great company, and loves Nathan to death. I'm so grateful for her help and generosity.
• My grandparents. What a wonderful sweet gift it has been to make great-grandparents out of them. Nathan is the first great-grandbaby on both sides, and I love seeing how my grandparents light up when he's around.
• Jay's family. I've always felt very accepted by Jay's family, even in our early days of dating. But now, having known them for almost a decade I can truly say that they are my family too, and I'm so grateful for their vast knowledge and support. I adore our nephews and niece, and love that Nathan will grow up with them.
• Our friends. They've been so generous with their time (and baby gifts galore!), and so thoughtful of our roles as new parents. But mostly I love that when we spend time with them, we can have wine and adult conversations.
• Jay. Oh, I can't even write about how thankful I am for Jay, and how I feel when I see him with our son. Really, I can't.
• The good health of our friends and family.

We told my family when I was about 10 weeks along. Right before Jay took this photo, I said "I'm pregnant!!" As you can see, only I reacted (with a ridiculously goofy grin). Everyone else thought I was kidding, and kept their photo face on.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my Canadian readers - I hope the holiday is filled with family, food and joy for you!