Letters to Nathan: Twelve Months

My Dear Nathan,

One year ago today, you came into this world, perfect and beautiful. A healthy 6lbs 5oz, with wailing lungs and tiny hands. You were so fragile and helpless. As you snuggled into my arms and breathed little sighs of sleepiness, I felt a sense of calmness and recognition, as if I had known you all along and we had just been reunited. It took both of us awhile to adjust to you being out in the world, and while I would make mistakes along the way, you never seemed to mind. Today, you are no longer a baby. You're a toddler. Except that you'll always be my baby.

I can't believe all that you've accomplished this past month. You learned to crawl (and boy, you're fast!), pull yourself up to stand, and walk along holding onto furniture. You're fearless, maybe a little too fearless. You walk along the table and when you reach the corner, instead of turning, you just continue on your trajectory and take a leap of faith. Luckily, someone has always caught you but I'm trying to teach you to round the corners now. With so much going on developmentally, you suddenly had trouble falling asleep. You're still napping twice a day and sleeping deeply at night, but it takes you longer to fall asleep and there's usually some protesting involved beforehand.






You've got a mischievous grin and a burgeoning sense of humour. You do things to try to make me laugh now, instead of the other way around. Your face shines with pure delight.

We had a big family BBQ to celebrate your birthday, and you had your first taste of cake (chocolate banana, yum!). You didn't seem to know what to do with your cake at first, and eventually conceded that it was fairly tasty but you would prefer to eat grapes and blueberries.

Oh, and you said "Mama" a few times! All my coaching the past six months has finally paid off.

Nathan, what a wonderful little boy you've become. Your dad and I love being your parents and feel that we are just the luckiest little family of three.

Playing Peek-a-Boo with Mumma and Daddy

Morning Yoga: Downward Facing Dog pose

"Look Ma, only one hand!"

"I don't like baby jail"

First time in the pool

Eating birthday cake in your birthday suit

 

Last set of monthly photos

A look back in the past year:

When I first started writing these letters to you, I thought it would be a wonderful way to chronicle all the little details of your first year. I saw it as an online memory box. Now I see that these are actually love letters that I've written. Love that includes grand sweeping moments of heart soaring euphoria, the daily drudgery of duties and diapers, and everything in between. It wouldn't be right to say that I didn't know love before I met you, but I certainly had never experienced this consuming, unconditional, always-in-my-thoughts kind of love until you came along. I think of you when I wake up and before I fall asleep, and every single moment in between.

I look into your eyes and I see everything that is good and right with the world. A year ago, you made me into a mother. Your mother. Forever and always - you are mine, and I am yours.

Love always,
Mumma